February 12th, 1943

The ambrosial scent was tempting; he thought it almost sinful. But he thought this in a fog; a subtle and distant thought that dissipated almost as quickly as it had come. Not that he had anything of significant importance to think about in its stead.
He wouldn’t let himself alone in his mind. It was too dark and the images of carnage played down his spine like a chain, bringing his stomach back up without his consent. After a few 6 months of pure retching, he found that you grow tired. Tired of yourself, mostly.
He let out a soft chuckle. The thought of being tired of oneself was a feeling he’d welcome gratefully. It seemed to give him a dreadfully bitter amusement and an esoteric semblance of contempt; warping his senses and, at times, rendering him physically numb.
He could never tire of himself, you see, for he was not himself. Not anymore.

He listened to the ruffling of a far-off petticoat; wondering aimlessly if it was Margret, the new cleaning hire. She was always getting herself lost and he found no other reason for the help to be weaseling about the top floor at such an hour. At least, not yet.
He waited, listening to the brief shuffle of feet and hushed voices as they carried off down the corridor, disappearing altogether at where he measured to be the stairway. Another moment passed. Silence. Delicious silence. The air of bittersweetness he came to adore. He craved these sacred moments of solitude nearly as ravenously as he feared them.
He sank back onto the finely woven silk linens, feeling off-handedly vainglorious for lying on newly refreshed sheets in his day clothes, but waved it off for lack of emotional sentiment.
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I haven't written in a while. I thought I might as well try starting something. Even if it makes next to no sense overall. It's suppose to be 1940 but it sounds so 1800s.
I find this language much more fulfilling than the modernized English colloquials we've become oh so fond of. It sounds slightly forced but I'll try to care later.
This is talking about Ralph, by the way....