Why...?!?!?

...is there a tree in the middle of the picture? That didn't not make sense to me until more than halfway through.

OH GOD I STEPPED ON IT

Song of the Week

Frog D8

there's a dead frog right by my feet. At least, I think it's dead..and a frog. It looks all shriveled and not moving from here but I'm too creeped out to get close enough to make sure. It's kind of freaking me out

These made me so happy

Off set pictures taken during filming

Best essay ever written

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107785821

Here we go again

My South Park obsession is being put on hold at the moment. Meaning, no, I don't think it's over yet BUT (there's always a but) I've had to move it aside for my new obsession....I'm not sorry to admit that yes... I'm obsessed with Lord of the Flies. I rewatched the '63 version, falling in love with Ralph all over again~

I dare you to tell me James Aubrey wasn't the most adorable 13 year old on the planet

and I found a website with a bunch of backstage pictures that made me much too happy for it to be healthy. Then I somehow managed to stumble onto a blog written by two fangirls 4 years ago. That made me laugh harder than I ever have.

Needless to say, I have a feeling this one won't stick long but I'll hold on to it as long as I can. I'm trying so hard not to start my own personal fandom. It's literally tearing me apart but I'm afraid that would take me away from the meaning of the book which was the reason I became so addicted in the first place.

That and Digby's closet aspiration for becoming a male model

Continued~

The handle to his door began to jiggle. Rather subtle at first but as the party on the other side were becoming aware that it was not going to turn, it began to shake much more violently. There became an outcry as and the damned people, of whom he wished would leave him to his peace, began pounding savagely on his door. They were blubbering out cries and lamentations but he was much too complacent to hear any of it.

There was a warmth in the room. It was a kind he had only felt once before but under severely different circumstances. He had felt petrified, confused, and completely alone. He felt he was breathing his very last few breathes. That’s all it has ever meant to him since.

Until now; this very moment. He was still scared, as he expected to be, he was still morbidly confused, and he was still alone. But, more than anything, he was content.

The pounding and the cries slowly merged with the pounding of his own heart, restless in his ears, as the warmth became greater. The beautiful smell was starting to become much too overpowering and he could feel himself losing touch with his senses. Until, all he could do was inhale one more time before slipping into sweet darkness.

The fastidious smell of smoke coursing through his every limb.

February 12th, 1943

The ambrosial scent was tempting; he thought it almost sinful. But he thought this in a fog; a subtle and distant thought that dissipated almost as quickly as it had come. Not that he had anything of significant importance to think about in its stead.
He wouldn’t let himself alone in his mind. It was too dark and the images of carnage played down his spine like a chain, bringing his stomach back up without his consent. After a few 6 months of pure retching, he found that you grow tired. Tired of yourself, mostly.
He let out a soft chuckle. The thought of being tired of oneself was a feeling he’d welcome gratefully. It seemed to give him a dreadfully bitter amusement and an esoteric semblance of contempt; warping his senses and, at times, rendering him physically numb.
He could never tire of himself, you see, for he was not himself. Not anymore.

He listened to the ruffling of a far-off petticoat; wondering aimlessly if it was Margret, the new cleaning hire. She was always getting herself lost and he found no other reason for the help to be weaseling about the top floor at such an hour. At least, not yet.
He waited, listening to the brief shuffle of feet and hushed voices as they carried off down the corridor, disappearing altogether at where he measured to be the stairway. Another moment passed. Silence. Delicious silence. The air of bittersweetness he came to adore. He craved these sacred moments of solitude nearly as ravenously as he feared them.
He sank back onto the finely woven silk linens, feeling off-handedly vainglorious for lying on newly refreshed sheets in his day clothes, but waved it off for lack of emotional sentiment.
-----------------------

I haven't written in a while. I thought I might as well try starting something. Even if it makes next to no sense overall. It's suppose to be 1940 but it sounds so 1800s.
I find this language much more fulfilling than the modernized English colloquials we've become oh so fond of. It sounds slightly forced but I'll try to care later.
This is talking about Ralph, by the way....

Song of the Week

These small hours

You said you want me

but be careful: I come with a heart

Just an update

I've been gone for a while. The trip to Europe was great. I grew up a little...

The first thing that should be established, I've given up pursuing anything in the artistic field. It's too much work that I'm just not motivated for. The measly bout of talent I had left seems to be growing smaller and I've completely lost the ability to control my pencil.

It was fun while it lasted

It really was. It's something I would almost wish to have back.

My obsessive South Park addiction is gone~ no more StYle. Or BuNny. Or CrEek....I still love the show to death and Matt ad Trey are forever a source of inspiration to me. I'm just joining the outside crowd. The one that marvels at the creepers on the inside; the 'fandom'. It's amazing how much more I like it out here.

I may publish a sketch or two every once in a while but outside of that, nothing big will be done. Most likely. Sometimes I get random spurts of motivation and god knows what I'll draw then

In the meantime... here is a song that means more to me than any other song ever could

Please don't read me

Do you remember that song? The one that you use to love so much. The one you held up high above the rest. The one that would always make you smile or keep you on the verge of tears.

Maybe you listened to it one too many times.

Maybe the mainstream carried it farther than you were willing to go.

Maybe you just feel as though you've outgrown it.

It happens

But I'm telling you

Listen to it. Just once more

Remember why you loved it so much. It meant something to you once, why can't it now?

I just wanted to see if i can update from here~ Blogger's blocked on my school's computer but I might have found a way around that

This is a title

More ramblings

Okay so~

now that my freshman year is over, I think I should have somewhat of a better grasp on what I want to go to college for, or even if I want to go at all.

At first, as a kind of spur of the moment deal, I decided I wanted to go to an art college. Not for anything in particular, I just wanted to go so I could draw some amazing shit, astound the teachers into giving me a bunch of A's, and be on with my life (because you know I'm that good).

As I have found out, it doesn't exactly work like that. For one thing, in order to astound somebody with your art, you have to like...not suck first and secondly, I don't think that that in itself is a major.

So now I'm stuck between a major in animation or in languages. My gramma begrudgingly suggested that if I really wanted to major in something artsy, I could always get a minor in languages. But I'm started to notice how much of a pain drawing is most of the time. I honestly don't think I want to spend my life doing this with a deadline hanging over me....like death at a retirement home....

My other problem is, as nice as it sounds to other people that I'm in the process of learning so many languages at once, I haven't actually learned any of them...I'm almost conversational in French, I know the little survival phrases for Swedish, German, and Russian and I've been studying Japanese for over three years so you would think I'd have learned something by now

This is making my head hurt.....

I have three more years and trip to Europe to think about it so I really shouldn't be as worried about this as I am >:I

Simon

I seriously love this kid ♥

I've been drawing him, Roger, and Ralph a lot lately

Are you enjoying my wonderfully disfigured tree back there?

I'm starting to draw backgrounds, kind of

It's weird

Ralph

Why am I suddenly drawing the guys from this stupid book we're reading in English so much?

Because I love it ._.

don't tell anybody

The book is Lord of the Flies and in chapter 9

I almost started bawling in the middle of class.

One of the coolest characters in the book got beat to death..

And while I'm shaking violently and on the verge of tears,

the rest of the class isn't even trying to stay awake.

Apparently I'm one of the chosen few in existence that actually likes this book

I'M A NERD, GET OVER IT

More stuff~

(AzngirlLH did that first >_> ^)

A kid from my school wanted me to draw him so~

I did... well, I tried anyway...

I have no idea wtf is up with this angle

I completely forgot about this blog until like

an hour ago

I'm sorry D:

I'm also sorry that this is all I have to show you ;_;

I totally forgot I could update this thing from my phone D:

I'm stuck in Alabama for my entire Spring Break

so I'm pretty sure nothing's going to get done

on any of my comics or requests

(not like anything was getting done anyways)

I also realized how horribly I've been neglecting this blog D'8

My life's kind of.. ridiculously boring so there's

seriously nothing to post except my sketches

and an occasional rant or two

Page 2

The top and some of the sides were cut off because of

my scanner~

and some random picture of our favorite little fag =D

I wanted to scan this before it got erased

We had a free hour in my first class so I drew on my notebook. I kind of like the girl but the pictures are already smudging and rubbing off ;_;

I

(me)

have been working on a comic again~

this is all I have as of this afternoon

The fanfic is A Brief Scuffle Between Catcher and Pitcher by Seaouryou

on FF.net

I kind of fell in love with/somewhat borrowed Gedatsu-Kitteh's art style ;A;

especially Kyle~

and the awesome Jew hat

A friend of mine painted the bunny for my birthday and

I spent three days on that cross stitch (I think that's what it's called)

another project for art class. I threw together in like an hour

the quality's all crappy because I had a take a picture of it

It's freakin huge!!! DD:

It's okay, you can breath now

Since I know all (two) of you that still read these were waiting oh so anxiously for this - I finally had my interview yesterday

All in all, I'm sure it went really good. Kind of. I don't know, we'll see. I tend to over think things so this is most likely not as big a deal as I'm making it

I'm still working on my south Park 100 Themes Challenge thing and will post those soon, I hope.

100 themes challenge - South Park

It's inevitable. Every year I start this but the farthest

I've ever gotten was to 18 in 5th grade

So yeah- I'm starting it again and I'm going to post them here

All South Park~

*cries with unfathomable joy*

Here's the list:

---xXx---

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Rot
6. Break
7. Heaven
8. Away
9. Cut
10. Breathe
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Spit
17. Blood
18. Under
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. War
22. Mother
23. Distastefull
24. Want
25. Lurking
26. Europe
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Urban
30. Rain
31. Flower
32. Night
33. Wrath
34. Moon
35. Walk
36. Precious
37. See
38. Abandoned
39. Dream
40. 4:29 PM
41. Citric Acid
42. Still
43. Die
44. Two Roads
45. Two Guns
46. Drop
47. Dirt
48. Young
49. Preservatives
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Old
53. Desecrate
54. Tower
55. Need
56. Biohazard
57. Sacrificial
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Desert
61. Fairy Tale
62. Voodoo
63. Do Not Disturb
64. City
65. Horrorific
66. Snow
67. Drum
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mislead
73. I. Can't.
74. Confrontation
75. Mirror
76. Broken
77. Testament
78. Drink
79. FUCK
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. +
83. Heal
84. Cold
85. Sick
86. Seeing Red
87. Hunger
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drown
92. Rape
93. Iron
94. Soft
95. Advertisement
96. Storm
97. Safety
98. Puzzle
99. Alone
100. Gone

I'm gonna have fun with some of these |D

*hides BL pr0nz behind shame*

*loses shame*

-ahem-

Anyway, since we were snowed in all weekend

they had to move my interview

two.weeks.laterrrrr

I am going to EAT SOMEONE

So yeah now it's February 13th. If I do pass my interview I'll

be posting pictures of the many foreign hobos I meet along my little European mini-venture

The warden for Jessie

Jessica asked for it...

I'm going to show the basic steps for how I drew this~

1) mmk, so obviously you start off with some really horrid sketch

to get a basic idea of where everything will be

2) By now I should have noticed his hat was too far off

his head but being partially retarded as I am, I didn't.

Anyway~ you just outline it now.

This is the part I hate the most and usually

takes me the most time

3) When I start coloring, I go from the top down, coloring

everything except the skin or hair.

4) Obviously, his hair's not blue but for now, just for convenience's sake

and because of the lazy way I color it, it is.

5) I colored the skin and added all the extra stuff

Since I'm working off of about 15 layers already,

I don't really worry about fixing any

small details yet. Even though I really should >_>

6) By now I have realized his hat is up way too far and

it's too late to fix it without another 30-45 minutes of editing DX

Just add the background and fix some minor details and~

blah. It is done

Hopefully yours will look better than this

Here's the finished picture without blood if you prefer that

Style ftw

I think my position on this subject should be obvious

Mindless Rant #1

There will be more of these later. that's why it's #1 :D

lmao this thing is looong. I would suggest ignoring all of it. It's mindless rabble and has no real point.

I'm going to retype this for the 5th time DX oh god this is why I never tell people what I'm thinking.

Okay...how to start this...i think the one thing I'm scared of more than anything is growing up to be "average". When it comes down to it, it's hard to really asses what's "average" when your dealing with something as horrendously complicated as people but I see it as this:

someone who blends in; someone you won't remember or you'll remember because "they could draw purtty", etc, but you can't for the life of you remember their face or name; someone who's never really changed anyone's life or made an effort to; someone who doesn't try to think outside the box or is scared to go against what others have decided is "normal" or "socially acceptable"; someone who's afraid to speak out or afraid to object or accept things they like or dislike because it's "different"; someone who makes themselves happy with their life because it's good enough or it's convenient keeping it the way it is and it'd be too much work to put a little more effort into making their life actually worth something. I really like quotations today D:

For as long as I can remember, I've always been terrified that I'd be one of those people when I grew up. I would chicken out at the last minute without going to college and sit in my little bubble where it's comfortable and easy for the rest of my life while kissing the ass of whatever douche decided they held superiority over me just so I could avoid any form of confrontation.

That's what i am. Right now, that's me. I want to be someone people will remember but I'm too terrified of what they'll think to ever actually say anything. I want to be someone that doesn't just maybe get someone motivated about something for like a month or maybe a year but that like actually changes their entire life for the better.

oh GOD that sounds so corny DX I knew it would.

The past year I've been trying to do better. I'd bet money that no one's noticed but I have been trying to change. I just realized I'm wearing my shirt backwards I speak my mind a little more and I'm not afraid to talk more freely to people I know but like hell am I standing up for myself. I'm going to leave that to Sam for a while....

Okay, this is how it works in my tiny mind: I spend way too much time kissing up to these disgusting people that I don't even like looking at nonetheless acknowledging their seemingly useless existence to upset they're poor little egos from any opinions void of their acceptance. So if they think they are so fucking right then they are fucking right.

I see these people everyday and I tell myself I'm never going to see any of these people again, if I even talk to them, so why am i so wrapped up in their opinions of me. This seems like such a small thing but at this rate it could be the one thing that keep me from going anywhere in life and makes me into the one thing I'm scared of most. I don't want some job that just happened to fall into my lap and I barely get by on. Or some guy that reluctantly settles with me because I'm willing to bend at his every whim and change myself so he'll fucking stay with me or because I just happened to be the only semi not ugly looking object in the general area.

I want to be an artist. That's what I want to go to college for and that's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Even something in languages on the side would be amazing lmao I feel like I'm ordering something

okay~ I'm done.

I know, I just kind of rambled uselessness and wasted about 15 minutes of your life but it's MY BLOG AND I DON'T CARE >:DDD I bask in your misery

On that note..... it's 5:01 in the morning. I have school in three hours. and I haven't even started my homework so I'm going to have to say goodnight

I've had horrible artist's block lately DX and this is the worst time of the day: when I finally have time to do something but I'm too tired to move. I spent the last 45 minutes drawing Butters over and over with crayola markers because my pencils keep magically disappearing ;A;

Look at him over there~ being all bishie and whatnot

I guess I'm always going through artist block though. I don't have anyone or anything to draw for so I don't have something to work off of. That's suppose to be a good thing; just you and whatever your horribly twisted little imagination may spawn. But that's my problem~ I have no imagination. Just a horribly twisted mind that I sometimes puke out all over my paper and force people to look at

This poor guy

I've been reading too much Squee.... I'm gonna go draw a dead puppy

The origins of my insanity

I was on the phone with my friend Kyle a few hours ago and we started talking about rabbits (pink rabbits). I was already messing around on Photoshop so I started drawing a rabbit. it looked kind of depressed so instead of changing it, I drew a collar around his neck and stitches and blood all over his face.

And then I got hungry

and thus this blog was born o_O I'm still hungry

So yeah. hi

This is the first time I've ever blogged anything. I decided I might as well try it since it's what most of my friends wither away their youth on. Not necessarily this site but I figured it's somewhere to start.

Since I'm too intimidated by the artists on DA I'll probably just post my pictures here and rant about my girly, high school teenage angst. Horrible emo poetry will ensue.

imagine this entire post spoken by a monkey with a heavy British accent and a monocle.